all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Randomize
