Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Everything about him screamed your future.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize