Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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