I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
