so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize