I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
