cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
