I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
