are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Blood and glitter go together right?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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