If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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