there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
