I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I am spending my child support on dildos
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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