Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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