I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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