she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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