it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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