We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
