I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
