Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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