kristin has been a bad kristin
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
