I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
