You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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