I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
