At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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