my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize