ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
please come you make the beer taste better
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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