i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
