And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
