he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
