i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
there was a trapeze. enough said
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
