my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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