captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
