no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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