this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
