Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
