Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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