He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
