Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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