She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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