Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
