I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
