hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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