Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
