I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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