I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
