If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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