You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
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