Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
