Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize