There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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