just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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