is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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