Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
