God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
