Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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