Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
