They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
