I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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