Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Text me some of your sweat
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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