I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
