so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
