my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My liver just had a heart attack.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
