I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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